April may be the cruelest month but May appears to be the wackiest. First it was the White Sox using blow-up dolls in the clubhouse to break out of slump. This past week it was revealed that the Yanks are trying to coax lady luck into their dugout by wearing lady’s undies.

Jason Giambi (he of the Mendoza-esq batting average) and Johnny Damon (who is sub-par as well) decided to turn to the only thing they hadn’t yet tried to boost their anemic numbers – a gold thong. The image sickens.

This certainly isn’t your father’s MLB. It’d be hard to imagine Stan Musial yanking on granny’s panties because he’d hit a skid. Not to mention the world of crap he’d get from his boys if he did. But Giambi’s and Damon’s teammates don’t seem to have a hard time with it. A lot of good the “no facial hair” policy did for team discipline.

Once Torre and the elder Steinbrenner stepped aside all hell broke loose. And after this year the House that Ruth Build will be torn down. And you thought selling the Babe was a bad idea. Bulldozing the place will be like spitting on his grave.

And his descendants are dancing on it – in their wive’s underwear.

Diamond Nuggets

I needed my tickets for a recent contest to be reissued due to a mix up with friends who couldn’t make the game. The team’s season ticket staff couldn’t have been more helpful. “Not a problem,” I was told. “Just go to the Ticket Services window at the center field gate,” and I could pick them up. Sure enough, there was only one person ahead of me and once I was at the window it was about 90 seconds until I had my ducats. I wasn’t clear on the need for the bullet proof glass between me and the ticket agent though. Despite his sunny disposition I had the feeling that I needed to watch my back.

Fireworks hint: Every Friday night home game is followed by a fireworks display which I found out by accident recently. Also by accident I had the best view possible. Just behind section 320 there is a platform that is at the top of the ramp leading down to lower levels and, eventually, the main concourse. The fireworks are shot into the sky just beyond the road that goes around that side of the stadium next to the Anacostia. I’ve never been so close to the explosions. Just great fun. Try it.